Nov 25, 2015

Here is an excerpt from my book “Father Figure – My Mission to Prevent Child Sexual Abuse”. The following were parts of my thoughts for silent victims:

“No matter what you may have done in your life or what mistakes you have made, NOBODY DESERVES TO BE ABUSED. Maybe you have never felt loved by anyone, or ever been told that you are a worthy person who does not deserve to be abused. If that is the case, let me be the first person to tell you that now. Although I haven’t been lucky enough to meet you, I already care about you and want your life to get better. You are why I have written this book! It doesn’t matter what your abuser may have told you, or how many times they have said it. Believe me when I say that it is never a victim’s fault. You deserve to have control over yourself and your own body, and no one, not even a loved one, has the right to take that from you.

Along these same lines, it is important for children to know that they are NEVER responsible for how reporting abuse may make an adult feel. A female friend of mine, now twenty-three years of age, recently told me about how her mother’s current boyfriend had frequently touched her inappropriately back when she was a teenager. This abuse usually occurred whenever she would be getting out of the shower. Along with telling me that she had never told anyone else about this, my friend further stated that she didn’t tell her mother because she felt responsible for how her mother might feel if informed about the abuse. “My mother already had so many failed relationships, and I felt bad about telling her because I feared it would likely result in her losing yet another boyfriend.”

Though we all know it is good practice to be thoughtful towards the feelings of others, there are some circumstances in life where it is both okay and necessary to be focused on yourself. Telling an adult that you are being abused is a circumstance where it is crucial for a child to speak up, and to not feel responsible for the impact they fear this information may have on the adult(s) that they share it with. Doing so can not only save yourself, but can potentially save the lives of many other children as well. In this particular case, my female friend also told me there are new children entering into the lives of her mother and boyfriend today, and now these children may be at risk for similar abuse by the boyfriend as well. Even if feelings are hurt and relationships are broken, it is always far better in the long run that children report being abused to adults”.

© 2017 - Sumi Mukherjee
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