Here is another excerpt from my book “Father Figure – My Mission to Prevent Child Sexual Abuse”:
“While my own experiences have given me a general idea of living with a secret, I still do not know firsthand how it actually feels to live with sexual abuse as a child. I can only imagine how awful, confusing, frightening, and uncomfortable it must be for those of you who do. I imagine you must feel shame and guilt as well, although you certainly do not deserve to. I try to imagine how I would feel if my abuser was someone whom I loved dearly, such as a parent, a parent’s partner, a family member, a teacher, a close friend, a coach, or a priest. I try to imagine how I would feel if the abuser was someone on whom I depended for shelter and money. Regardless of who the abuser may be, I know it would be really bad.
I have read about how abusers often use guilt trips to keep children silent, or even threaten to harm the child, the child’s pets, the child’s loved ones, or to even harm themselves. Just as daunting, I’ve also read how abusers may tell the child to remain silent to keep the family’s positive image in the eyes of others, or to simply keep the family from breaking apart. It would also be incredibly difficult if the abuser is someone who your family loves and respects and depends on. No matter what the situation may be, they most often will try to use guilt trips and threats.
To all of the silent victims reading Father Figure, I want you to see that there are some adults like me who do love and care about children. There are some adults like me who would do whatever it takes to help you with what you are living with, no matter how awful or hopeless it seems. You have seen how I did that for the kids in this true story. I have loved so many kids in my life, and none of them have even been my own flesh and blood, but I genuinely care about children, and there are others like me who do, too.”