One of the things I talk about in my book titled “A Life Interrupted – the story of my battle with bullying and obsessive compulsive disorder” is about why bullies do what they do. I firmly believe if we can get to the bottom of this, then we can eventually eradicate bullying from our schools.
To illustrate this point I describe in detail a very interesting meeting I had when I was in the midst of receiving treatment for my severe obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). I decided to try and contact my worst bully from middle school years and see if he would be willing to meet with me so I can find out why he did the things that he did to me in middle school. Since it had been more than 10 or so years since we attended middle school, I didn’t think I would be successful in locating him.
But surprisingly I was able to locate him and he agreed to have a meeting with me. This was a most revealing encounter that made it very clear to me as to why bullies do what they do. In summary, I understood that he had many difficult issues to deal with, primarily at home, and that is what made him bitter and he acted out by bullying others. I strongly believe that if he had received appropriate help at that time to deal with his issues during the middle school years (like seeing a therapist), he most likely would not have resorted to bullying others. If we are able to provide appropriate help to children like these in a timely manner, we would likely eliminate bullying from schools.
One other important information I learned from him – that the reactions of bystanders made a huge difference. Many bystanders laughed and cheered when he was bullying others and that boosted his ego.
I try my best to encourage school staff to understand these issues so bullying in schools can be prevented and even eliminated.