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Many schools around the country have started educating all students about the role of bystanders in prevention of bullying. This is an extremely important program that should be implemented by all schools.

Bystanders can play a significant role either in promoting bullying or in preventing bullying. In my own situation, one of the worst bullies had described to me (later in adulthood) that he was not getting the support and recognition within the school community that he would have liked. So he turned to bullying because he noticed that people laughed and encouraged his actions, thereby improving his self-esteem, and he felt that he then had a recognized place in the school community. He was then known for “something” instead of just another insignificant kid in the school community.

This revealing discussion clearly indicates the significant role a bystander can have in encouraging bullying. In fact, even if the bystander does not laugh or visibly encourage the actions, just by being there and witnessing it and not saying anything causes the bully to continue his/her irresponsible behavior. Of course it would be best if a bystander can step in and try to prevent the negative behavior – but as a minimum a bystander must not laugh or encourage the actions and should simply go away from the area and report it to the school authorities.

The overall impact of bullying will not be as serious if the bystanders do not encourage the actions of the bully. That is why it is so important for all school children to learn that bystanders do play a significant role in prevention of bullying.

If a company does not do anything to appropriately investigate and follow through on complaints of bullying and harassment at the workplace, then it is creating a negative work environment that can be harmful to the company in many different ways.

If an employee complains about one or more incidents of workplace bullying and harassment, and the company does not do any kind of honest investigation or follow through, then they will have an unhappy employee, and that is how a negative work environment starts to develop.  With one or more unhappy employees productivity eventually suffers and that can impact the company negatively.

The company can of course choose to terminate the employee who had put in the complaint. But then again, a sudden departure of an employee is not a morale booster. Also, word will be out that the employee was fired because of the complaints he or she had made regarding bullying and harassment in the workplace. That can also tarnish the reputation of the company.

In addition the company may have to face a wrongful termination lawsuit, which could be expensive for the company. It is true that companies can terminate any employees at will, without having to give any reasons for why the employee was terminated. But if there is documentation available showing the history of complaints followed by lack of any reasonable actions by the company, then there is a reasonable chance that the company might lose the lawsuit. That is exactly what happened in my case that I describe in my book “How to stand up to workplace bullying and take on an unjust employer.” I fought back against the company after being terminated and won my case.

After speaking with many people across the country I am of the opinion that being bullied on a consistent basis causes mental health issues for most victims. Some lucky ones might be able to get away with minimal impact, but many others suffer long lasting impact.

It is clear that bullying has a significant impact on the psyche of a person. It consistently attacks the self-image of the victim. The bully exerts control over the victim and makes him/her feel terrible about themselves. On top of that, quite often, there are bystanders who laugh at these incidents, providing more fuel to the fire. When bystanders either laugh and encourage or don’t do anything at all, the bullies feel supported and continue their bad behavior.

In situations like these, the victims badly need support from school officials who are typically right there at the schools when the bullying takes place. The victims need support right then and there. School officials must intervene and find a way to stop the bullying as soon as possible. And then, the school officials must provide support to the victims so they are not left alone to face the impact of these incidents all by themselves. If school mental health staff (such as psychologists and social workers) can work with the victims at times like these, then it is possible that the eventual mental health impact on the victims will not be as severe.

School officials must also work with the bullies to help them address their own issues and get them to discontinue their bullying behavior. Quite often, bullies have their own issues at home that play out with them acting out as bullies at schools. If they too get appropriate and timely help, schools can eventually eliminate bullying.

No organizations should be allowed to ignore complaints of workplace bullying by any employees. Each and every complaint must be investigated thoroughly and an appropriate plan of action must be implemented.

It is extremely important for an organization to maintain a serious approach when dealing with bullying or harassment in the workplace. A company needs to make it clear to all its employees that workplace bullying and/or harassment will not be tolerated. And then, it needs to set up a written and published policy about how complaints of this nature will be handled. This policy should specify how each and every complaint will be investigated and how the results of the investigation will be communicated and acted upon.

For example, if an employee puts in a complaint of bullying/harassment in the workplace, it will then be very important for the company to conduct a thorough investigation, as per the company policy, and then communicate and take appropriate actions. It might turn out that the complaint was simply a misunderstanding – but even then it is important for the company to maintain appropriate records and communicate with the individuals concerned. In case it turns out to be a valid complaint, then an action plan needs to be established and communicated to the appropriate individuals. The resulting plans may include various levels of actions such as improved communication plans, better training, reassignment of individuals, etc, or even disciplinary actions if appropriate.

The bottom line is that if a company (small or large) has a well-established process and follows through appropriately, then it will likely have a satisfied set of employees and consequently better overall performance.

Pandemic or not, sexual predators are still out there trying to find their next victims. We all need to be careful and continue to keep a close eye on possible red flags.

This is a difficult time for everyone. Most children are stuck at home, with their family members, with closed schools and closed playgrounds. This can be stressful for everyone, adults as well as children. In spite of having to deal with this stressful time, the adults must keep in mind that sexual predators are still out there and we must continue to make sure that the children are not at risk.

Since the children are mostly stuck at home, the danger from outside is certainly minimized because the children are not spending a lot of time with outsiders. However, the dangers indoors can also be significant. First of all, children are likely to spend a lot more time online, exposing themselves to online predators. With the parents being extremely busy and stressed, it might be difficult to monitor everything the children are doing online.

Secondly, significant exposure to family members can also create risk for the children. It is well known that in many cases of child sexual abuse, the abuser is often a close family friend or a family member. With several family members stuck in the house for many days, there can be increased risks for the children.

The main point is that just because the children are not going outdoors a lot these days, does not mean the risks have gone away. Therefore, in spite of having to deal with the added stress of being stuck at home, we need to continue to remain vigilant about children’s safety.

I met many children around the country who were eager to talk to me about their mental health issues. This was an encouraging sign. I have tried my best to make sure school staff are able to follow up with parents to provide appropriate professional help.

Young children are often not able to express how they might be feeling. Children in middle schools or in high schools, often know that something is not right, but they worry about the stigma and decide not to disclose their issues to adults around them. I had experienced the same thing myself. My OCD started when I was 16 years old, but I kept it hidden from everyone until I was 21. That simply delayed the start of my treatment by 5 years.

That is why it is quite encouraging when some children come up to me and share their issues with me. This typically happens soon after one of my presentations. After listening to me they realize that there is no stigma attached to discussing openly about mental health issues and receive appropriate treatment as necessary. Also, they realize that if they share their issues with me, they will not be judged.

Anytime a child has come up to me and talked to me about his or her issues, I always made sure that some adults around them (such as school staff) are aware of the issues so they can work with the parents to check this out for the child. Most children feel relieved when they know that their issues are out in the open, in the hands of caring adults who will not judge them for these issues. I know I felt tremendous relief when I finally opened up and found that everything would be fine – it’s just an illness that needed to be treated.

 Many states are starting to reopen a bit with thousands of employees going back to work. My best wishes to all of them – I hope they will all find their workplaces safe and positive. This is a stressful time for everyone. I hope all managers and supervisors will be supportive.

All the places that are starting to reopen are having to deal with new conditions and regulations to keep everyone safe from getting infected by COVID-19. They all seem to be focusing on maintaining at least 6ft distance between workers, utilizing appropriate protective equipment, such as masks, etc, disinfecting work surfaces/equipment on a regular basis, and making sure that customers also follow appropriate procedures. This is the only way states can try to reopen some of the businesses. This is all new to everyone involved, but there does not seem to be any other way, until a vaccine or a reliable cure has been developed.

In spite of all these precautions, it will still be a difficult adjustment for many employees. This will continue to be an extremely stressful situation until it has been proven beyond reasonable doubts that these precautions are keeping everyone safe. Once we see that because of all these precautions, the case numbers are starting to go downwards rather than upwards, most people will start to feel better about the situation. Most people can get used to all these new precautions as long as they can be somewhat certain that they will be safe. That is why it is all the more important now for employers to remain extremely supportive and understanding of the concerns of the employees.

Even though our focus is being impacted significantly by the coronavirus situation, we must try our best to make sure we continue to keep an eye out for red flags in terms of prevention of child sexual abuse. Unfortunately bad things can still happen even in a crisis.

It is unfortunate, but bad things are happening all around us even during this awfully difficult time for our country. In some situations, it is happening even more since all of us are focused on what’s happening with the COVID-19 pandemic. I hear in the news every day that even though many of us are struggling to stay afloat during this difficult period, there are many out there who are trying to scam good people. It is hard to believe that there are people out there who are trying to take advantage of this situation in a negative manner while there are many who are risking their lives every day to save and help others.

There is no evidence that a pandemic like this will cause more incidents of child sexual abuse, but it is understandable that many of us are having to continually adjust to different situations and demands caused by the pandemic. And that can sometimes take focus away from other important things such as maintaining a close watch on red flags that can lead to child sexual abuse. Moreover, since children are more exposed to online activities during this period, we also need to keep an eye out for online predators – they are also out there looking for possible victims. Let’s try our best to keep all the children safe.

Even though schools are all closed at this time, children can still be subjected to cyber bullying. That too can have significant negative impact on mental health. The bottom line is that bullying has its impact, no matter how it is done.

At this difficult time, many children end up spending a lot of time on devices such as iphones or ipads for longer periods of time; and that can often expose them to cyber bullying. Bullies too have a lot of time on their hands to find victims to prey upon.

Whether it is done face-to-face or via on-line, the main purpose of bullying is still the same. The bully tries his/her best to establish control over the victim and engages in activities that typically end up impacting the self-esteem of the victim. And any significant ongoing impact of this nature will eventually have a negative impact on the victim’s mental health.

I firmly believe that it is extremely important for parents to try and maintain an open communications line with their children, so the children can feel free to share any negative experiences they might have had on-line. This can go a long way in avoiding major negative impact on the children’s mental health.

We are still in the middle of this horrible pandemic. Data does indicate that we are flattening the curve a bit in some parts of our country, but it still does not look good yet for us to open up things to everyone. It is hard to predict how long it will be before things get back to normal, but it seems clear that it will likely not go back to the way things used to be before the pandemic started until we have a vaccine available for everyone, which could be another 12 to 18 months away.

In the meantime most states will follow a step by step approach in trying to open up things for business. I totally agree with all the state governors that they need to be extremely careful as to how to open up their state businesses in a step by step approach. It is very important to make sure we don’t create another difficult cycle of huge numbers of infections and more deaths.

I can certainly understand the dilemma for the governors – more and more people are going for unemployment insurance – the economy is continuing to take a dive; but I agree with them that you can’t really send people to work unless they have been able to establish a somewhat reliable testing process. I am hopeful that the governors will come up with a reasonable step by step plan that will keep all of us safe.

In the meantime, my publisher is continuing the special promotional offer for my books till April 20. She thought it will be a good time for people to read books while they are stuck at home. That’s why she decided to offer the books (ebook version) at no charge. I thought this was a great suggestion. So if anyone is interested in receiving a free ebook version of any of my books, please go to the following:

Bit.ly/2tdyFRD