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If a single parent has a new dating partner, then it is always safer to do a background check on the person before introducing him or her to the children. Then if something significant comes up in a background check, then one needs to be extra vigilant.

Some people seem to believe that it is not polite to do a background check on someone you are trying to get to know. Well, when it comes to protecting your children, you need to do whatever is necessary to eliminate risks for your children. Your children needs to come first because they are dependent on you for their protection.

Some people also believe that a person might be offended if you do a background check on him or her. Again, if the person is offended, then maybe it wasn’t a good fit to start with. Most responsible people would understand that it is important for a single parent to make sure that the person they are dating will be safe around their children.

I am not saying that anyone with some type of criminal record should always be rejected. But if you know the background of a person, then you can prepare yourself appropriately keeping the safety of your children in mind. In most cases, it is important to take a good amount of time to get to know the person well before introducing your children to him or her. Maybe he or she is a good person but just made a mistake and had to pay for it. But one needs to take time to make sure that the person is truly reformed.

Being bullied is an extremely significant stress on a child. And if the child has to face this stress on a daily basis and several times during the day while at school, one can imagine the impact it can have on the child. It must be prevented.

The point is that the kind of bullying that a child typically faces is not a one-time thing. It doesn’t just happen once and then it’s all done. What really happens is that a child goes to school every day knowing that he or she will likely have to face the bullies again. And when this happens to a child almost on a daily basis for several years, it should be easy to see why the long-term impact can be extensive.

Adults at the schools across the country need to understand the severity of this situation and take full responsibility for protecting these children. School staff must understand that their responsibility is not only to educate the children but also to provide a positive and peaceful environment for all children. These two objectives go hand in hand. If a child is not happy and is always concerned about someone bullying him or her, the child simply cannot concentrate on school work. Teaching at schools is not the same as lecturing at a university to adult students. Teaching at schools need to include making sure that all kids are feeling safe and protected so they can concentrate on learning.

I strongly believe that anyone experiencing bullying or harassment in the workplace must do something about it, instead of allowing it to have a serious impact on themselves. Reporting it to someone, following through, and maintaining documentation can often have some positive impact.

The point is that everyone has a right to work in a positive and safe environment without being harassed or intimated by someone else. If a manager or a supervisor has an issue with the work being done by an employee, he or she can address it through the performance management process. And those discussions should take place in a private setting. There is no need to publicly humiliate an employee. The manager can give a warning to an employee if performance is not satisfactory, and if things don’t improve, the employee can be terminated. But none of this needs to be done in a harassing manner.

I have written the book “How to stand up to workplace bullying and take on an unjust employer” in order to encourage people to stand up for their rights. And I also wanted everyone to know that there are things one can do to fight back against bullying and harassment in the workplace. Reporting to authorities within the organization is the first step, and if nothing comes out of that, then reporting to authorities outside the organization is the next step. And all throughout the process, maintaining good documentation is extremely important.

For prevention of child sexual abuse, adult family members need to remain vigilant at all times and keep an eye open for any possible risks. One can never be too protective when it comes to prevention of child sexual abuse.

The true account story I describe in my book “Father Figure – my mission to prevent child sexual abuse”, there are a lot of comments about what various groups of adults can do to protect the children under their care, in order to minimize risks to the children. Out of all those different groups of adults, the family members probably have the most critical role. I believe that if the family members can remain extremely vigilant, then the risks to the children will likely be the minimum.

The biggest issue I have experienced in this story with family members is that they don’t always perceive the risks to be significant. Many of them are typically good-hearted people who find it hard to believe that a trusted person who appears to have good intentions can be a threat to the children, and that is understandable. But the problem is that if something bad does happen, then it can become too late, because even one episode of child sexual abuse can scar a person for the rest of his or her life. It’s always better to keep an eye open for everyone who might be in contact with the children.

Many school officials around the country still seem to believe that bullying during school years does not have any lasting impact on the victims. They need to understand that it is possible that some victims may be lucky and not have any long term impacts, but many others do and that is why it is critical to prevent bullying.

I think it’s all a matter of whether you want to do something about it or not. School officials who do not want to do something about it will always point to the fact that there are many children who face bullying during school years but are able to move on without any significant impact. But this is a situation when you can’t just look at the children who were able to withstand bullying without having any long-term impact and not look at the ones who have had to deal with significant long-term impact because of bullying.

I believe all school officials must focus on the fact that even one child ending up having to deal with long-term issues is one too many. Every child counts and it is important that every child deserves a bully-free safe school environment. This needs to be a top priority for all school officials. They need to form a close partnership with parents to make sure that every child finds it safe to come to school every day without having to worry about which bully they might be facing. There are children around the country who do not want to go to school to avoid being bullied – this simply cannot be allowed to go on.

Bullying and harassment happens in a workplace when the upper management does not want to accept the fact that maintaining a positive work environment is one of their responsibilities. Because I believe that if managers/supervisors understand clearly that bullying will not be tolerated, then the environment will be safe for everyone.

It is very important that the owner and/or the CEO sends a very clear message to the rest of the company that bullying and harassment will not be tolerated. Along with that it is also necessary to put together a set of processes and procedures so that any reported incidents of bullying and harassment can be investigated properly. It is also necessary to put together appropriate training programs for all supervisors and managers as well as for all employees to make sure everyone is aware of what is expected in terms of maintaining a positive professional environment.

In larger companies the task of maintaining a positive professional environment is often the responsibility of the Human Resources Department. Most HR personnel these days are well aware for these issues and are typically well qualified to set up processes and procedures and training for handling these matters. However, many small companies do not have HR departments. In those cases the owner may have to get involved with this matter and set up some minimal processes and procedures to handle any reported incidents. The bottom line is that it needs to come down from the top as one of the key priorities for the organization.

Regarding prevention of child sexual abuse, one of the most important things that caregivers must remember is that the abuser can be anyone who has anything to do with the children, and they can even be family members, close relatives or friends.

This is probably one of the most difficult things for parents and caregivers to keep in mind. Parents typically trust people like other family members, close relatives and friends and tend to believe that these people will never harm any of the children. In addition children too automatically trust these people since they know that they are trusted by their parents and caregivers. But there are many instances where some of these people unfortunately end up abusing the children. And one of the reasons is that these folks do not need to work very hard to develop trusting relationships with the children.

Children also develop a trusting relationships with people like coaches, tutors, youth activities leaders, etc. Often these are people who are typically trusted by the parents and that makes it easier for the children to trust them as well. The important thing to remember for the parents and the caregivers is that the children are not always able to keep an eye out for red flags. That is why, even with trusted adults, it is important for parents and caregivers to keep an eye out for red flags.

All children must learn that bullying is nothing but emotional and/or physical abuse of another individual. And no such abuse can be allowed in a civilized society. All adults must support this view and educate their children accordingly. Children will learn if the adults are serious about it.

Most children do not understand that bullying can cause significant long-term impact for the victims. The bullies go on continuing their mistreatment of other children thinking only of the fun they derive from these undesirable acts. But if they truly understood that their actions can cause long-term negative impact for the victims, it is highly likely that they will stop the bullying.

Following several of my presentations around the country I have received emails from students who have stated that bullying had practically stopped after my presentation at their schools. The following are some of the things children take away from my presentations:

• If you treat someone poorly, the impact on that person can be very serious
• If someone is bullied in school, that person can suffer for many years even after school years are over
• Students are able to connect with me easily because I have gone through this myself – I speak from my heart about the impact it had on my life
• Students who do the bullying connect with me since they see that I can understand what they might be going through, because of the discussion on my encounter with a past bully

The bottom line is that if adults can have serious discussions with children about the significant long term impact of bullying, most children will understand and act accordingly.

Some people believe that once you are an adult you should be able to handle just about anything in the workplace. Well, I do not agree with that. Everyone has the right to expect a bully-free work environment. Workplace bullying affects many employees negatively and it must be stopped.

There is simply no place for bullying and harassment in a workplace. Shouting, yelling or using scare tactics is not the way for a supervisor or a manager to communicate with the employees. Supervisors/managers must make it very clear to employees about what their job duties are, and provide appropriate training for them to be able to perform those tasks. In addition, they should also make the employees aware that there are consequences for inadequate performance. But none of this need to be done via any kind of verbally abusive and/or harassing manner.

Every employee has a right to be treated fairly and respectfully. Some employees are able to take abusive managerial behavior in their stride and ignore it and move on. But for many employees, that is just not possible. It is very difficult for them to deal with this kind of negative behavior on a regular basis and it becomes a source of pain and frustration, which can then turn into depression, anxiety or other mental health disorders. This can and must be avoided by making sure that a bully-free environment is maintained.

I am scheduled to present at the OAESA (Ohio Association of Elementary School Administrators) Professional Conference in Columbus, Ohio, on Thursday June 13, 2019. I will be speaking on the topic of “Impact of School Culture on Students’ Mental Health” which will be based on my first book.

I am excited about this presentation because I will be speaking to a group of school administrators such as principals and assistant principals who are typically responsible for establishing the culture in a school. In my book titled “A Life Interrupted – the story of my battle with bullying and obsessive compulsive disorder” I describe how a negative school culture contributed to a devastating mental illness that I had to deal with for many years.

When I was going through elementary and middle schools, most principals and vice principals did not do a lot to prevent bullying that I had to put up with. Many of them believed that children should be allowed to deal with this by themselves. In my view it is wrong to expect children to take care of this by themselves. School officials need to accept this responsibility to maintain a positive environment for all children.

There were also some principals and vice principals who believed that “boys will be boys” and things like bullying are ok. Then there were others who promised to do something about this, but did not do anything to back up their promises. I hope that I can deliver the message that none of these approaches are appropriate. All school administrators must take the responsibility seriously and work hard to maintain a positive bully-free environment.