One of the main points I have tried to make in my book titled “Father Figure – my mission to prevent child sexual abuse”, is that all adults need to keep their eyes open to detect red flags when it comes to risks of sexual abuse of children. People at times ignore a red flag thinking that most likely nothing will actually happen. It might be true that in most cases nothing would actually happen, but you simply cannot take that chance when it comes to risks to children.

In the true account story in my book, I describe a situation where I detected a possible risk to a couple of children and acted diligently to make sure the children remained safe. I am aware that some people will argue that I just wasted my time and energy because nothing would have happened. But I did not want to take a chance because even one episode of child sexual abuse can torment the child for many years in the future.

If a red flag is detected, then it is important to inform the parents of the children so they can do something to protect the children. But sometimes, the parents may not want to take any action to look into the situation. In the story I describe in the book, I talked to the single parent about the possible risks, but the parent did not want to do anything about it. Therefore, I had to work with other family members and various systems such as law enforcement and child protective services to keep the children safe.

The point is that one simply cannot afford to ignore a red flag because this is a very serious matter and once it happens, it simply cannot be reversed.

A major point of emphasis in my book “A Life Interrupted – the story of my battle with bullying and obsessive compulsive disorder” is the fact most victims of bullying are likely to have to deal with mental health issues. In some cases the victims might be lucky and be able to avoid serious issues, but in many cases there can be long lasting impact. But in any case, no child should ever have to go through this.

Children deserve a positive stress-free environment when they go to school. But when they face bullying at school on a regular and consistent basis, the school becomes an extremely stressful environment. And when anyone has to deal with continuous stress on a daily basis, it is no wonder that they develop mental health issues.
That is why I have always felt that the school staff has a significant responsibility in this regard. They must take the responsibility to make sure that no child feels stressed or unsafe while at school. Just leaving it to the kids to manage their own stress of being bullied is not at all appropriate, and it typically leads to mental health issues sooner or later.

Children do not have the skills yet to be able to handle unwanted aggressive behavior and mistreatment from others. Just managing an average school day is the work they need to get used to, not trying to figure out how to stay away from unwanted aggressive mistreatment from others.

I know that many schools are taking this seriously and are putting plans and actions in place to help children in managing difficult situations like this. I am hopeful that all schools will put a very high priority on this responsibility to make sure all children find schools to be a stress-free environment.

The following is an excerpt from the introduction of my latest book “Minority viewpoint – my experience, as a person of color, with the American Justice System”.

“Who I am is an ordinary person of color who has felt compelled to initiate legal action in two separate matters in an effort to bring about justice. The first was an employment law case in 2010-2011, which was resolved through an arbitration process facilitated by the union I belonged to. The second one detailed in this story revolves around Defamation of Character, commonly referred to as slander, occurring from 2016-2018.

In both cases, I learned a lot and suffered a lot, as the two concepts seemed to go hand in hand. Moreover, I always ended up SPENDING A LOT!!! Whether win or lose, each case left me with the realization that there was so much I wish I would have known about our legal system before I became a part of it.

It’s one thing if the person bringing a lawsuit is rich and famous with endless means. But what about ordinary people like us who have our good names dragged through the mud? How are we supposed to restore our reputations if the system is rigged against us? And what about if you are not merely an ordinary person, but you are also a person of color? How might the various parts of the justice system and related processes treat you differently than they may treat someone else who was born with the gift of white privilege??

The purpose of this book is to help the next ordinary person faced with the daunting prospect of dealing with lawyers and/or filing a lawsuit. It provides a rare inside look into lawyers, lawsuits and the justice system.

This book also focuses on the epidemic of racism all across America today. It informs ALL ethnic minorities living in the United States – particularly fellow persons of color like myself – of the dangers we can face and how we can fight back without violence. We must never accept the indignities of being treated as second class citizens, as this story so well illustrates”!

In my book titled “How to stand up to workplace bullying and take on an unjust employer”, I have described a true story about fighting back against bullying in the workplace.

I am aware that in numerous workplaces around the country there continues to be a lot of bullying and harassment of employees. The question is: will it ever stop? Well, my view is that it will only stop if the companies and employers realize that if they do not eliminate bullying and harassment in their workplaces, it will eventually hurt their companies.

I also believe that companies will get to that point only if the employees decide to fight back one way or another. If employees just continue to accept the mistreatment, then the employers do not see the reason to make the necessary changes.

One way to fight back is simply to quit the job and go find another employment. If most bullied employees decided not to work for these employers, then eventually they will learn to make some changes.

But a more effective approach is to fight back by continuing to remain as an employee. This approach can be more difficult and stressful for the employee, but it does have a more immediate impact on the employers.

In my book I have described steps an employee can take to be able to fight back against bullying and harassment in the workplace. I also describe organizations that are available to assist in this process. If an employee is able to put up with the stress involved in this process, then it can certainly help in minimizing bullying and harassment in the workplace.

My book titled “Father Figure – my mission to prevent child sexual abuse” is based on a true personal account that describes how I had to go to tremendous lengths to protect two children from the risk of falling prey to a convicted child molester and registered predatory offender in their community. It demonstrates how challenging it can be to work with our systems that are certainly not as effective in preventive actions. In my efforts to protect them from possible harm I found myself entangled in a very complicated, bizarre and difficult situation. Even in this awful predicament, which was riddled with numerous obstacles and setbacks throughout, I was able to prevail in the end. But seeing the ordeal through and being able to successfully protect these two children has been a remarkable learning experience, especially in terms of understanding how to overcome the challenges and work effectively with the legal system, the law enforcement system, the correction system, and the child protection system under tough circumstances and how to embark on such an important, positive, essential life mission based upon PREVENTION rather than reacting AFTER a child has been sexually abused.

This book is unique because it provides details on how multidisciplinary team efforts are critical to prevent a likely abusive scenario. It provides critical information on issues like:

• Importance of background checks on individuals who might be in close contact with the children, and how to do background checks and use internet for useful, constructive purposes
• What kinds of specific and detailed information might be available to public for a previously convicted offender
• How does the correction system work for situations associated with a previously convicted offender
• How can Law Enforcement be more effective in handling “preventive” situations like this
• How can the Child Protective Services become more effective in responding to “preventive” situations like this

When I first started speaking at schools about bullying and mental health (which is based on my first book titled “A Life Interrupted – the story of my battle with bullying and obsessive compulsive disorder”), I was not sure how much details about mental health issues to discuss in front of students. But fairly soon I realized that it was very important to discuss mental health issues with students, especially teenagers, because there are many kids who are facing similar issues but are not comfortable in sharing with other adults. It was clear that they saw me as an average person who has been through these struggles and has been able to recover.

Following my speeches I often received emails from teenagers who shared their issues with me. Here are some excerpts from a few of those emails:

“I was bullied a lot when I was younger, mostly because of my name, or my glasses. As I got older I used to write in my notebooks, that I wanted to kill myself.”

“I struggle with depression, and my dad doesn’t want to believe that I have it. I confide in my friends, and in my closest relatives for help. I’ve tried suicide a couple of times, and I self-harm.”

“I have a weird kind of ocd. It’s hard to explain but pretty much in the day I’m completely fine but in the night, I kind of have a time to think. And what I think about is “what if someone comes in here right now and stabs me” or other things like that.”

“I was bullied really bad in school too, and I actually thought there for a while suicide was the answer.”

“I passed what you said to me to one of my friends it helped her she quit self-harm.”

In almost all cases I tried my best to contact the school staff to encourage them to talk to the kids and find help for them if needed. It turned out that in many cases I was able to get the kids to understand that it is okay to talk openly about mental health issues and get the help they need.

In my book titled “Minority Viewpoint – my experience, as a person of color, with the American Justice System”, I have provided a brief description of the appeal process in the civil defamation case that I had filed. I found it to be a very interesting process.

The first point was that the appeal would be heard before a three judge panel. I was also informed that the appeal hearing would consist of a strictly timed 35 minute oral argument between both sides’ lawyers in front of the three judge panel. My lawyer would get to speak for the first 15 minutes, while the other party’s lawyer would then have the second 15 minute period to respond. And finally, my lawyer would have the last five minutes to re-highlight the points of our case.

Though my lawyer had her presentation well prepared, she explained that she might not be able to make all her points should the panel interrupt her with questions. She said not to feel panicked if this happened, as she would have those last five minutes to tie up any loose ends.

The panel would already be familiar with the legal briefs we had filed with the court of appeals – meaning the written arguments we had submitted in support of our case in the previous months. Typically the legal briefs would have considerable weight in the panel’s final ruling on the matter. Some legal experts believe that once the panel reads the briefs they probably would have already made up their minds.

My lawyer explained that her comments would depend on the reactions of the panel as well as the arguments made against me by the other party’s lawyer. I also understood that the panel’s ruling would be influenced by how the legal issues in my case may affect other similar cases. I felt that my lawyer really knew how to deal with the appellate process and it certainly was a learning experience for me.

My latest book titled “Minority Viewpoint – my experience, as a person of color, with the American Justice System” describes many of my interactions with the legal community as well as with law enforcement.

One of the things I discuss in this book is the role the police played in this whole scenario. There were a couple of police officers whom I found to be highly professional and respectful to all parties involved. However, there were a couple of other officers whose approach appeared to me as not as professional.

Apparently one of the officers was talking to a teenager and associated my name with a horrible crime. The teenager was totally confused and called me right away and asked me if it was true. When this officer was deposed, he did not confirm that he actually used my name and associated my name with a crime, but he did say that they often used various “scare tactics” when talking with teenagers.

I find this very disturbing. Although he did not confirm that he had actually used my name, I do believe what the teenager told me in a phone call at the time this interchange was taking place between the police officer and the teenager.

I think it is very important for police officers to make sure that the so-called scare tactics do not involve any specific person’s name, unless they are talking about a person who was actually convicted of a crime. People in general look up to police officers and what they (how they say it) matters a lot. General public typically respect what the police has to say, and if they provide any misinformation, then it can cause significant negative consequences.

The purpose of my book titled “Minority Viewpoint – my experience, as a person of color, with the American Justice System” is to help the next ordinary person faced with the daunting prospect of having to file a lawsuit, as well as to help all ethnic minorities and persons of color stand up for their rights in a civilized manner. Here are some of the issues discussed in the book:
• What exactly is defamation?
• How does defamation spread through a community?
• Are there ways to stop this from happening?
• What do you have to show to prove that defamation happened?
• Is it okay to defame someone to the police?
• What about defamation of a famous person?
• What is the process of filing a lawsuit?
• When does someone send a cease and desist letter?
• What is the purpose of depositions?
• How do you decide who to depose?
• What is a summary judgment motion all about?
• What is a motion to compel?
• Does a lawsuit always mean a jury trial?
• What kinds of things one needs to keep in mind to select an appropriate lawyer?
• What happens if you are not happy with the service provided by the lawyer?
• How might a law firm respond if you try to share your views about the performance of a lawyer?
• What is involved in deciding to file a malpractice lawsuit?
• What is the role of a lawyers professional board?
• How does an appeal work?
• Can you do anything if you suspect that defamation might have been racially motivated?
• Can comments from the police help spread the defamation?

In my book titled “A Life Interrupted – the story of my battle with bullying and obsessive compulsive disorder” I talk about my recovery from a devastating mental illness to illustrate the fact that bullying can have very serious impacts on the lives of the victims. And the mental health impact can linger on for many years beyond high school years.

It is true that some victims of bullying are able to move on without any serious impacts, but for many victims that is not the case. In many situations debilitating mental illness has ruined lives of victims of childhood bullying. As I traveled around the country for my speaking engagements, I have met people who are in their forties and fifties, and have still not been able to get beyond the impact of the bullying they faced during school years.

One of the problems is that the school staff are not always able to detect the issue in a timely manner. If a victim of bullying can start receiving validation and therapy at an early stage, it is very likely that he/she will be able to recover within a reasonable time frame and may be able to avoid significant long term impact. For example, if a victim of bullying in grade 5 or 6 starts receiving therapy and support immediately, he/she may be able to recover from the impact by the time high school years roll in.

That is why it is very important for school staff not to ignore any complaints of bullying by anyone in a school. And if a complaint is received, then appropriate support and therapy must immediately be provided to the victim as long as he/she needs it. It is critical for school staff to make the assumption that all bullied children need help and make arrangements to provide that help in a timely manner. This is extremely important unless bullying is totally eradicated from the school environment.