Update

In my book titled “How to stand up to workplace bullying and take on an unjust employer”, I have described a true story about fighting back against bullying in the workplace.

I am aware that in numerous workplaces around the country there continues to be a lot of bullying and harassment of employees. The question is: will it ever stop? Well, my view is that it will only stop if the companies and employers realize that if they do not eliminate bullying and harassment in their workplaces, it will eventually hurt their companies.

I also believe that companies will get to that point only if the employees decide to fight back one way or another. If employees just continue to accept the mistreatment, then the employers do not see the reason to make the necessary changes.

One way to fight back is simply to quit the job and go find another employment. If most bullied employees decided not to work for these employers, then eventually they will learn to make some changes.

But a more effective approach is to fight back by continuing to remain as an employee. This approach can be more difficult and stressful for the employee, but it does have a more immediate impact on the employers.

In my book I have described steps an employee can take to be able to fight back against bullying and harassment in the workplace. I also describe organizations that are available to assist in this process. If an employee is able to put up with the stress involved in this process, then it can certainly help in minimizing bullying and harassment in the workplace.

My book titled “Father Figure – my mission to prevent child sexual abuse” is based on a true personal account that describes how I had to go to tremendous lengths to protect two children from the risk of falling prey to a convicted child molester and registered predatory offender in their community. It demonstrates how challenging it can be to work with our systems that are certainly not as effective in preventive actions. In my efforts to protect them from possible harm I found myself entangled in a very complicated, bizarre and difficult situation. Even in this awful predicament, which was riddled with numerous obstacles and setbacks throughout, I was able to prevail in the end. But seeing the ordeal through and being able to successfully protect these two children has been a remarkable learning experience, especially in terms of understanding how to overcome the challenges and work effectively with the legal system, the law enforcement system, the correction system, and the child protection system under tough circumstances and how to embark on such an important, positive, essential life mission based upon PREVENTION rather than reacting AFTER a child has been sexually abused.

This book is unique because it provides details on how multidisciplinary team efforts are critical to prevent a likely abusive scenario. It provides critical information on issues like:

• Importance of background checks on individuals who might be in close contact with the children, and how to do background checks and use internet for useful, constructive purposes
• What kinds of specific and detailed information might be available to public for a previously convicted offender
• How does the correction system work for situations associated with a previously convicted offender
• How can Law Enforcement be more effective in handling “preventive” situations like this
• How can the Child Protective Services become more effective in responding to “preventive” situations like this

When I first started speaking at schools about bullying and mental health (which is based on my first book titled “A Life Interrupted – the story of my battle with bullying and obsessive compulsive disorder”), I was not sure how much details about mental health issues to discuss in front of students. But fairly soon I realized that it was very important to discuss mental health issues with students, especially teenagers, because there are many kids who are facing similar issues but are not comfortable in sharing with other adults. It was clear that they saw me as an average person who has been through these struggles and has been able to recover.

Following my speeches I often received emails from teenagers who shared their issues with me. Here are some excerpts from a few of those emails:

“I was bullied a lot when I was younger, mostly because of my name, or my glasses. As I got older I used to write in my notebooks, that I wanted to kill myself.”

“I struggle with depression, and my dad doesn’t want to believe that I have it. I confide in my friends, and in my closest relatives for help. I’ve tried suicide a couple of times, and I self-harm.”

“I have a weird kind of ocd. It’s hard to explain but pretty much in the day I’m completely fine but in the night, I kind of have a time to think. And what I think about is “what if someone comes in here right now and stabs me” or other things like that.”

“I was bullied really bad in school too, and I actually thought there for a while suicide was the answer.”

“I passed what you said to me to one of my friends it helped her she quit self-harm.”

In almost all cases I tried my best to contact the school staff to encourage them to talk to the kids and find help for them if needed. It turned out that in many cases I was able to get the kids to understand that it is okay to talk openly about mental health issues and get the help they need.

In my book titled “Minority Viewpoint – my experience, as a person of color, with the American Justice System”, I have provided a brief description of the appeal process in the civil defamation case that I had filed. I found it to be a very interesting process.

The first point was that the appeal would be heard before a three judge panel. I was also informed that the appeal hearing would consist of a strictly timed 35 minute oral argument between both sides’ lawyers in front of the three judge panel. My lawyer would get to speak for the first 15 minutes, while the other party’s lawyer would then have the second 15 minute period to respond. And finally, my lawyer would have the last five minutes to re-highlight the points of our case.

Though my lawyer had her presentation well prepared, she explained that she might not be able to make all her points should the panel interrupt her with questions. She said not to feel panicked if this happened, as she would have those last five minutes to tie up any loose ends.

The panel would already be familiar with the legal briefs we had filed with the court of appeals – meaning the written arguments we had submitted in support of our case in the previous months. Typically the legal briefs would have considerable weight in the panel’s final ruling on the matter. Some legal experts believe that once the panel reads the briefs they probably would have already made up their minds.

My lawyer explained that her comments would depend on the reactions of the panel as well as the arguments made against me by the other party’s lawyer. I also understood that the panel’s ruling would be influenced by how the legal issues in my case may affect other similar cases. I felt that my lawyer really knew how to deal with the appellate process and it certainly was a learning experience for me.

My latest book titled “Minority Viewpoint – my experience, as a person of color, with the American Justice System” describes many of my interactions with the legal community as well as with law enforcement.

One of the things I discuss in this book is the role the police played in this whole scenario. There were a couple of police officers whom I found to be highly professional and respectful to all parties involved. However, there were a couple of other officers whose approach appeared to me as not as professional.

Apparently one of the officers was talking to a teenager and associated my name with a horrible crime. The teenager was totally confused and called me right away and asked me if it was true. When this officer was deposed, he did not confirm that he actually used my name and associated my name with a crime, but he did say that they often used various “scare tactics” when talking with teenagers.

I find this very disturbing. Although he did not confirm that he had actually used my name, I do believe what the teenager told me in a phone call at the time this interchange was taking place between the police officer and the teenager.

I think it is very important for police officers to make sure that the so-called scare tactics do not involve any specific person’s name, unless they are talking about a person who was actually convicted of a crime. People in general look up to police officers and what they (how they say it) matters a lot. General public typically respect what the police has to say, and if they provide any misinformation, then it can cause significant negative consequences.

The purpose of my book titled “Minority Viewpoint – my experience, as a person of color, with the American Justice System” is to help the next ordinary person faced with the daunting prospect of having to file a lawsuit, as well as to help all ethnic minorities and persons of color stand up for their rights in a civilized manner. Here are some of the issues discussed in the book:
• What exactly is defamation?
• How does defamation spread through a community?
• Are there ways to stop this from happening?
• What do you have to show to prove that defamation happened?
• Is it okay to defame someone to the police?
• What about defamation of a famous person?
• What is the process of filing a lawsuit?
• When does someone send a cease and desist letter?
• What is the purpose of depositions?
• How do you decide who to depose?
• What is a summary judgment motion all about?
• What is a motion to compel?
• Does a lawsuit always mean a jury trial?
• What kinds of things one needs to keep in mind to select an appropriate lawyer?
• What happens if you are not happy with the service provided by the lawyer?
• How might a law firm respond if you try to share your views about the performance of a lawyer?
• What is involved in deciding to file a malpractice lawsuit?
• What is the role of a lawyers professional board?
• How does an appeal work?
• Can you do anything if you suspect that defamation might have been racially motivated?
• Can comments from the police help spread the defamation?

In my book titled “A Life Interrupted – the story of my battle with bullying and obsessive compulsive disorder” I talk about my recovery from a devastating mental illness to illustrate the fact that bullying can have very serious impacts on the lives of the victims. And the mental health impact can linger on for many years beyond high school years.

It is true that some victims of bullying are able to move on without any serious impacts, but for many victims that is not the case. In many situations debilitating mental illness has ruined lives of victims of childhood bullying. As I traveled around the country for my speaking engagements, I have met people who are in their forties and fifties, and have still not been able to get beyond the impact of the bullying they faced during school years.

One of the problems is that the school staff are not always able to detect the issue in a timely manner. If a victim of bullying can start receiving validation and therapy at an early stage, it is very likely that he/she will be able to recover within a reasonable time frame and may be able to avoid significant long term impact. For example, if a victim of bullying in grade 5 or 6 starts receiving therapy and support immediately, he/she may be able to recover from the impact by the time high school years roll in.

That is why it is very important for school staff not to ignore any complaints of bullying by anyone in a school. And if a complaint is received, then appropriate support and therapy must immediately be provided to the victim as long as he/she needs it. It is critical for school staff to make the assumption that all bullied children need help and make arrangements to provide that help in a timely manner. This is extremely important unless bullying is totally eradicated from the school environment.

The story I describe in my latest book “Minority Viewpoint – my experience, as a person of color, with the American Justice System” starts with a complaint I had made to a hotel manager about a negative experience I had with a hotel employee. I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong since most hotels encourage comments and/or complaints so they can continue to improve their services. But in this specific case, repercussions turned out to be significant.

I had worked for several hotels during the early days of my career. I was trying to figure out if I would want to stay with the hospitality industry. All the hotels that I worked for had trained their employees to be extremely courteous to ALL guests and to encourage all guests to write in comments, especially if they had any negative experience. The hotel managers always told us that the feedback from guests is extremely helpful in improving services and in training employees. That is why during all my travels as an author and speaker, I have always tried to fill in a comment card irrespective of whether my experience was positive or somewhat negative.

That is exactly what I had done in this particular case. I even received a nice response back from the manager thanking me for my comments and confirming that I would have no issues at all during any of my future visits. I believed it because that is exactly what happens in most hotels, but in this case, things did not go well when I returned to that same hotel four months later for another visit.

The employee mentioned later that she was never disciplined for this complaint, she did not receive any verbal coaching either. In fact, she said, that apparently she and the manager felt that my complaint was ridiculous and laughed about my complaint. But then she reported to the police against me with some untrue and defamatory statements, which I had to fight against. This has been one of the most puzzling things about this interesting story of defamation and the ensuing lawsuit.

One of the things I describe in my recent book titled “Minority Viewpoint – my experience, as a person of color, with the American Justice System” is about my interactions with the legal community. When I talk about the legal community I am including the lawyers, law firms and the lawyers professional responsibility board.

The first thing I observed is that the law firm I was dealing with didn’t seem to want to listen and understand the issues I was having with my lawyer. As we tried to explain our issues to the managing partner of the law firm, it seemed that his biggest concern was to make sure that we do not file a malpractice lawsuit. Several times during the conversation he mentioned that if we decided to file a malpractice lawsuit, it won’t go anywhere – meaning we would not be successful if we pursued a malpractice lawsuit. Well, we were not thinking about pursuing a malpractice lawsuit anyway, but that was clearly his main concern. Even after the meeting when he sent us a letter he mentioned it again that if we pursued a malpractice lawsuit, we wouldn’t be successful. I was totally surprised. I thought that the big boss of the law firm would be really interested in what the client thought of the performance of one of his lawyers and maybe think about changing some of the ways they do things. But there was no way he was going to acknowledge that some of the things could have been done differently. Overall it was not constructive at all.

What surprised me most about the lawyers professional responsibility board is that they didn’t seem to want to fully understand the issues we had described in our complaint. And then when we requested for a short meeting or a phone call to try and understand what their reasons were for not investigating the matter, we never heard back from them. That was most disappointing.

I truly believe that with a bit of effort the legal community can certainly become more trustworthy for the clients – but they have to be willing to put in that effort.

One of the points I tried to make in my book titled “How to stand up to workplace bullying and take on an unjust employer” is that employees are not totally helpless when it comes to fighting back against bullying and harassment in the workplace. I do understand that fighting back can be stressful and many employees may just find it easier to simply quit and find another appropriate employment. Also, in some cases it is possible that the employee does not have any other opportunities available to him or her and decides to put up with the maltreatment. But there are times when fighting back is appropriate because of a couple of reasons:

1. The employers need to understand that it is their responsibility to maintain a positive workplace environment
2. The employers need to understand that there can be serious consequences if they fail to maintain a bully-free environment for the employees
3. And sometimes, it can be extremely helpful for one’s mental health to be able to fight back against unjust and oppressive behavior

However, in order to have any success in a fight of this nature, it is absolutely essential for the employees to maintain clear documentation which must include things like dates and times when bullying happened, if there were other witnesses, if the incidents were reported to the employer, if any actions were taken by the employer, if any response was received from the employer, etc. Without detailed notes of this nature, it will not be possible to fight against the employer since, in that case, it will just be one’s words against another’s.

In my situation, for example, the employer fired me thinking that every employer has the right to fire an employee. However, because of my detailed documentation I was able to demonstrate that there were good reasons to believe that it was wrongful termination. Without the documentation, it would have been very difficult to build a case against my employer.