Update

My new book is titled: “Minority Viewpoint – my experience, as a person of color – with the American Justice System”. I have written this book because I believe it provides a lot of information that could be extremely helpful for people all over the country.

It all starts with a not-so-pleasant interaction I had with a hotel employee. This is typically not an unusual occurrence. I have worked in hotels for a few years, earlier in my career. I have seen several unpleasant interactions between guests and hotel employees. I have also traveled all over the United States over the last several years as a speaker and have stayed in many hotels around the country. And not surprisingly, I have watched situations where guests and hotel employees have had some negative encounters. But I have never seen or experienced situations that rose to a completely different level.

That is what happened in this interaction I had with the hotel employee. To my utmost surprise, this employee reported me to the police, just before I was planning to go to the same hotel four months later, about the 4-month old incident which the police report identified as “information on suspicious activity”. I was completely surprised since I knew very well that I did not do anything wrong. But it became a major issue when I discovered that the employee had added, as per the police report, some unsubstantiated and untrue comments in her report to the police.

Normally, it’s always okay to report to police if something concerns you, but adding unsubstantiated and untrue comments is certainly not okay. When I discussed this situation with my lawyer, I understood from him that this can be considered defamation. That is what started the whole situation described in the book.

I would like to announce the release of my fourth and brand new book! It is a shocking true story titled: “MINORITY VIEWPOINT: MY EXPERIENCE AS A PERSON OF COLOR WITH THE AMERICAN JUSTICE SYSTEM”

It’s a gripping new book and true story about defamation towards me, a brown Indian man, by a white female hotel employee in the small northern MN town of Deerwood.

Following escalating, horrible events in 2016, I eventually sued the hotel employee for defamation and surprisingly, the hotel in Deerwood supported her over me, their paying repeat customer, in spite of her unsubstantiated comments to the cops. The hotel’s insurance company paid ALL her legal expenses and hired top lawyers to defend their employee against me (while I had to pay my fees out of pocket). I eventually had my case dismissed much before trial – after spending $120,000 of mine and my parents’ own money – likely due to less than commendable representation by a prominent MN law firm. I provide details on what I believe were some of my lawyer’s errors and omissions which likely contributed to the undesirable consequences I derived from filing this case.

There is so much for the public to learn from this remarkable true story. This book teaches ordinary citizens as well as fellow people of color like me a lot about how defamation can spread through a community, what can actually happen in a lawsuit, with cops, lawyers, law firms, and the whole legal system including lawyers professional responsibility board, and how to fight back against alleged racism and defamation without resorting to violence. It educates people of color on some of the unique risks we can face due to not being part of the white majority, and how certain environments may increase such potential risk factors for us. The book encourages all to do the right thing for the greater good regardless of the final result.

Child protective services perform a critical role in our society today. It is important that we continue to support these organizations.

In the story I describe in my book “Father Figure – my mission to prevent child sexual abuse”, I am grateful that child protective services took an interest in investigating the matter. However, one of the biggest lessons I learned through this ordeal, is more about how the child protection system works in our country.

Due to the nature of privacy laws, it is difficult sometimes to be sure that Child Protective Services (CPS) will react in a fully protective manner or to get updates on your case after you have made your initial report to CPS. I often struggled with not hearing back from the person handling the investigation. I also felt frustrated when I was told that this case was a lower priority, simply because CPS had to wait for something more to occur.

There are a number of places where the child protection system in our country needs some changes. There needs to be greater focus placed on truly PREVENTING a likely hazard, just as there is in responding to one that has already occurred. I know that the vast majority of CPS workers are dedicated to this cause and that in spite of the systemic shortcomings, CPS did take some constructive actions and provided support in the story I describe in the book. Their guidance was likely essential in encouraging family members to become more involved in the story I present in my book.

I believe that one of the areas where CPS could use some more support is in the training area. It is important that more training is made available to CPS management and workers on the issues associated with child sexual abuse – how it happens, why it happens, who the offenders likely are, how to detect the possibility of it occurring, its impact, how to handle possible cases, etc”.

Some people continue to believe that bullying is harmless fun that children grow out of rather quickly. Unfortunately these people do not simply understand the significant impact it can have on innocent children. It needs to stop.

Many school staff around the country and many parents still believe that bullying is really not a real problem in schools. They believe that maybe there are times when some children act meanly to others, but they don’t believe that it has any lasting impact on the children. They also believe that it’s okay for children to grow up having to deal with situations like this off and on. I would not disagree with them if it was true that in most cases these are just isolated incidents that happen once in a while with minor disruptions. What I know from my personal experience and from speaking with others all throughout the country, there are countless examples of bullying happening in hundreds of schools all over the country that often last for days, weeks, months or even years. Consistent incidents of bullying is what typically causes the most damage.

Most children are able to handle occasional mistreatments by other kids, but it gets extremely difficult for them to fend off consistent ongoing bullying. That is what makes it extremely stressful for victims and eventually results in mental health disorders for them. It is important for school staff (with cooperation from parents) to identify persistent bullying of this nature and work with everyone concerned to prevent it. It may not be possible or feasible to be able to detect each and every incident of mistreatment, but with a reasonable amount of effort, it should be possible to detect and prevent reoccurrence of bullying on a continuous basis. That is how the school staff can create and maintain a positive school environment.

Many Americans around the country have to seek out professional help from mental health providers to deal with the stress caused by bullying and harassment in the workplace. This needs to stop.

Most folks spend a major part of their daily life at work. Most of them are dedicated workers who take their jobs seriously and work hard to perform their duties to the best of their abilities. When they go home, they focus on their responsibilities at home and then try to find a bit of time for some relaxing activities. But if their time at work is filled with bullying and harassment from a manager or a supervisor or from other co-workers, then they are not able to focus on their responsibilities at home or a bit of time for relaxation. That is what causes stress for them, which could eventually turn into a mental health disorder.

It is true that for most people, some workdays are not stress-free. It is normal to have some stressful workdays off and on. But it is not a good situation if almost every day is a stressful day. Bullying and harassment in the workplace is often a pattern that continues on almost a daily basis. One can let go of things if it happened once in a while – but in many cases it typically happens several times a week (in some cases almost every workday) and that leads to the kind of continuous stress leading to mental health disorders.

It is important for all employers to understand that they have a responsibility to maintain an environment where all employees feel safe to focus on their work and not be stressed due to bullying and harassment. It is always appropriate to give necessary feedback to employees regarding their performance, but no one deserves to be bullied or harassed at work.

A multidisciplinary approach is often essential in preventing child sexual abuse even though it may sometimes be difficult to work effectively with the various systems.

When it comes to prevention of child sexual abuse, it is often critical that an intervention through multidisciplinary teams is implemented to provide the best results. A timely intervention can dismantle a possibly abusive setup and thereby prevent possible child sexual abuse. However, in the process, there can be many existing systemic and procedural inefficiencies that must be improved in order for us to become truly effective in prevention of child sexual abuse.

There can be numerous challenges involved in dealing with several inconsistencies while trying to work effectively with the various “systems”. The fact is that prevention means doing something “before it actually happens”, but our systems such as child protective services and law enforcement services aren’t always as effective in a preventive situation.

It is important to focus on the responsibilities of the various organizations and individuals in order to try to intervene and prevent a possibly abusive scenario. Multidisciplinary team efforts are critical to prevent a likely abusive scenario, but in the process it is also important to look at the existing challenges inherent in many of our systems such as law enforcement, legal and court systems, correction system, child protection system, etc, while working in a preventive mode. This is an area that requires immediate attention if we are truly focused on intervention and prevention of child sexual abuse.

Bullying at schools often creates mental health issues for the victims and unfortunately in most of the cases that often goes undetected during the school years. And that causes delay in treatment.

It is very important for school staff to have adequate training in this area, i.e., to detect children dealing with more than usual amount of stress. When children get bullied at school, they show their stress in many different ways. If a school staff is well trained in this area, then they can figure out that something unusual is going on with these specific children and make sure that some appropriate intervention is happening. Typically all school staff including teachers, nurses, administrative staff should have some training so if they detect anything unusual about a child, they can immediately refer him or her to the school social worker or the school psychologist.

Children who get bullied at school often do not want to talk about it when they get home. Once they get off the school bus and enter their homes, they feel relaxed right away and do not want to discuss these negative school-related issues. They treat their homes as a sanctuary and feel that they can relax there stress-free until the next school day.

That is why early signs of problems are often not detected at their homes. Their parents can start seeing the problem typically at a later stage when things have progressed significantly further. The family members can see something only when the child is not able to contain his or her stress only while at school. If this was detected earlier, then the child would receive appropriate treatment right away, when things are still at a mild stage. That is why it is important for school staff to detect this as soon as possible so the mental health issues do not progress to a more serious level.

It is important for all companies (big or small) to have an established process to deal with complaints from employees about bullying and harassment in the workplace. The process does not need to be elaborate, it just needs to be followed.

Having an established process makes it clear to everyone that the company takes this seriously. The process basically needs to include steps that will be taken if there is a complaint of bullying and harassment in the workplace. Some larger companies may have elaborate processes and procedures, but for smaller companies what is needed is just a set of steps describing what will be done if there is a complaint. The process would likely include steps such as documenting the complaint, interviewing the person who made the complaint, doing an appropriate investigation, preparing a closing summary with an action plan.

However, having a process is just the first step. Many companies do have a process, but they do not follow it sincerely. Following the process sincerely is the best way to ensure that the work environment will remain positive and rewarding. At times it may be difficult to come up with a definite conclusion, but if everyone knows that these steps will be followed, this will have a positive impact.

Employees need to feel that the company cares about everyone’s safety and wellbeing, and having an established process (and following it appropriately) is an excellent way to let employees know that the company is focused on maintaining a positive environment.

School social workers, school counselors and school psychologists often have a significant role in promoting personal safety and welfare of children because working with children is a key aspect of their job.

Prevention of child sexual abuse is one of those areas where school Social Workers, school counselors and school psychologists can have a significant role because:

• Most children often do not like to discuss concerns and/or incidents of abuse with family members because they don’t believe that they will be taken seriously
• Most abusers are typically members of or close friends of the family, and therefore, children do not feel safe discussing this at home or with a family member
• School Social Workers, school counselors and school psychologists or other school staff such as nurses, can be in regular contact with children, and are often viewed by children as trusted adults outside the home/family
• All of these school staff members are generally mandated reporters – and therefore, concerns and/or incidents of abuse will typically reach the appropriate authorities
• School Social Workers, school counselors and school psychologists are professionally trained individuals who are able to discuss topics of this nature appropriately with children or are able to refer them to appropriate professionals
• Many of our systems such as child protective services or law enforcement are more likely to respond to a concern brought in by a school staff member rather than an ordinary citizen

Schools must try to get the parents involved in their efforts to prevent bullying. Many parents often do not understand how devastating impact of bullying can be.

Children need consistency whether they are in school or at home. If school staff promotes a “no bullying” environment at school, then it is important for parents to totally support that approach when children are at home and when there is a discussion about bullying. It will be of no use if parents do not follow up on the directions set by the school staff – in that case, no matter how hard the school staff tries to prevent bullying, there will likely be continuing bullying incidents at school since the bully knows that he/she has support from home.

This makes it very hard for the school staff. I have had several presentations at schools around the country and in many cases I was asked to make an additional presentation to a group of parents. Although the school presentations were very well attended, the presentations for the parents have typically not been very well attended. It has been clear to me that many parents still follow the “boys will be boys” attitude and do not take bullying seriously.

It is a sad situation because with just a little bit of support from the parents, the school staff can really do an excellent job of preventing bullying. I strongly believe that if the parents really understood the kind of devastating impact bullying can have on many innocent children, they will work hard to cooperate with the school staff and make sure that a positive environment is maintained at school.