Update

Bullying and harassment happens in a workplace when the upper management does not want to accept the fact that maintaining a positive work environment is one of their responsibilities. Because I believe that if managers/supervisors understand clearly that bullying will not be tolerated, then the environment will be safe for everyone.

It is very important that the owner and/or the CEO sends a very clear message to the rest of the company that bullying and harassment will not be tolerated. Along with that it is also necessary to put together a set of processes and procedures so that any reported incidents of bullying and harassment can be investigated properly. It is also necessary to put together appropriate training programs for all supervisors and managers as well as for all employees to make sure everyone is aware of what is expected in terms of maintaining a positive professional environment.

In larger companies the task of maintaining a positive professional environment is often the responsibility of the Human Resources Department. Most HR personnel these days are well aware of these issues and are typically well qualified to set up processes and procedures and training for handling these matters. However, many small companies do not have HR departments. In those cases the owner may have to get involved with this matter and set up some minimal processes and procedures to handle any reported incidents. The bottom line is that it needs to come down from the top as one of the key priorities for the organization.

All children must learn that bullying is nothing but emotional and/or physical abuse of another individual. And no such abuse can be allowed in a civilized society. All adults must support this view and educate their children accordingly. Children will learn if the adults are serious about it.

Most children do not understand that bullying can cause significant long-term impact for the victims. The bullies go on continuing their mistreatment of other children thinking only of the fun they derive from these undesirable acts. But if they truly understood that their actions can cause long-term negative impact for the victims, it is highly likely that they will stop the bullying.

Following several of my presentations around the country I have received emails from students who have stated that bullying had practically stopped after my presentation at their schools. The following are some of the things children take away from my presentations:

• If you treat someone poorly, the impact on that person can be very serious
• If someone is bullied in school, that person can suffer for many years even after school years are over
• Students are able to connect with me easily because I have gone through this myself – I speak from my heart about the impact it had on my life
• Students who do the bullying connect with me since they see that I can understand what they might be going through, because of the discussion on my encounter with a past bully

The bottom line is that if adults can have serious discussions with children about the significant long term impact of bullying, most children will understand and act accordingly.

Some people believe that once you are an adult you should be able to handle just about anything in the workplace. Well, I do not agree with that. Everyone has the right to expect a bully-free work environment. Workplace bullying affects many employees negatively and it must be stopped.

There is simply no place for bullying and harassment in a workplace. Shouting, yelling or using scare tactics is not the way for a supervisor or a manager to communicate with the employees. Supervisors/managers must make it very clear to employees about what their job duties are, and provide appropriate training for them to be able to perform those tasks. In addition, they should also make the employees aware that there are consequences for inadequate performance. But none of this need to be done via any kind of verbally abusive and/or harassing manner.

Every employee has a right to be treated fairly and respectfully. Some employees are able to take abusive managerial behavior in their stride and ignore it and move on. But for many employees, that is just not possible. It is very difficult for them to deal with this kind of negative behavior on a regular basis and it becomes a source of pain and frustration, which can then turn into depression, anxiety or other mental health disorders. This can and must be avoided by making sure that a bully-free environment is maintained.

When I speak to school principals and assistant principals, I typically speak on the topic of “Impact of School Culture on Students’ Mental Health” which is based on my first book.

I get excited about these presentations because these give me a chance to speak to a group of school administrators such as principals and assistant principals who are typically responsible for establishing and maintaining the culture in a school. In my book titled “A Life Interrupted – the story of my battle with bullying and obsessive compulsive disorder” I describe how a negative school culture contributed to a devastating mental illness that I had to deal with for many years.

When I was going through elementary and middle schools, most principals and vice principals did not do a lot to prevent bullying that I had to put up with. Many of them believed that children should be allowed to deal with this by themselves. In my view it is wrong to expect children to take care of this by themselves. School officials need to accept this responsibility to maintain a positive environment for all children.

There were also some principals and vice principals who believed that “boys will be boys” and things like bullying are ok. Then there were others who promised to do something about this, but did not do anything to back up their promises. I make a sincere effort to deliver the message that none of these approaches are appropriate. All school administrators must take the responsibility seriously and work hard to maintain a positive bully-free environment.

A couple of years back I had made a presentation in Palo Alto, CA, about long-term psychological impact of bullying. I had spoken to a group of summer camp staff at the City of Palo Alto. It was encouraging to note that the city was focusing on this issue.

A lot of bullying is still going on around the country and a lot of victims are still suffering. And there are many individuals around who still believe that this is not a big issue. That is why it was good to see some organizers were taking this matter seriously.

I do believe that there is a significant amount of effort being put in these days by many adults around the country to try to prevent bullying. This training organized by the city of Palo Alto was another excellent example. I believe that I was able to deliver the message that bullying can have significant long-term psychological impact.

I also liked the fact that the city of Palo Alto was putting this training together because they believed that bullying could be an issue with kids coming in for the summer camps. They were recognizing that bullying does not happen just in schools, it can also happen in other situations like summer camps. They wanted to make sure that every child attending the camps should be allowed to enjoy the summer camp experience instead of wanting to leave the camp because of being bullied. I was impressed with this effort by the city of Palo Alto and hope that others will follow.

Bullying and harassment in the workplace can be quite harmful to the companies as well. That is why many Human Resources Departments across the country are making sure to establish appropriate processes and procedures to minimize incidents of maltreatment of employees.

These companies recognize the importance of developing and maintaining a professional environment that does not tolerate bullying and/or harassment. They also realize that appropriate training needs to be provided to supervisors and managers so they are able to perform their duties without relying on bullying or harassment of employees. If the company places a priority on this, then the HR Department can implement appropriate processes and procedures to make sure a professional bully-free environment is maintained.

There is also another reason why many companies direct their HR Departments to focus on this. That has to do with avoiding unnecessary lawsuits. If some employees are being bullied and harassed, and if some of them decide to maintain records as to how they had requested the company to do something about this and nothing had been done, then some of these employees might decide to bring a lawsuit. This can be financially damaging for the company.

But looking at this positively, why would a company not want the employees to be happy at their workplace and enjoy a high level of job satisfaction. Happy employees typically perform better which in turn helps the companies achieve or exceed their goals.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder can be a devastating disease – based on my personal experience, it can take many years to recover. But it is important to remember that one can recover from this terrible disease and can take his or her life back, irrespective of whether it was triggered by bullying or by some other stressful events.

In my case, it was the sustained bullying during the school years that triggered OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) for me. For the first five years of my mental illness, my single greatest struggle and obstacle became simply telling someone what was going on. Before long, merely managing to function through an average day became the greatest challenge of all.  At last, I was able to change my pessimistic perspective, willingly engage in cognitive behavioral therapy and begin to make significant progress with my illness. Eventually, I was able to derive a lasting positive impact after spending only 16 days in Rogers inpatient treatment facility – a positive impact that has lasted throughout the past several years of my life.

Today, I am thrilled to report that I have finally regained control over my once ever so incapacitating mental illness! Though my ordeal has now reached this much better point, there are millions of other people out there who continue to struggle hard with similar issues on a daily basis. I am here to tell those fellow sufferers that this does not have to be their long-term fate. Just as I took back control of my life, they too are capable of freeing themselves from the powerful clutches of this or similar mental health issues.

Some organizations promote workplace bullying by rewarding managers and supervisors who control their employees through continuous harassment. They incorrectly believe that those managers’ actions are working well in getting their employees to work harder. They don’t seem to care that many of their employees are seeking professional help to address mental health issues.

These organizations mistakenly believe that being tough (and somewhat abusive) to employees is the only way to manage the employees. They develop a culture where employees only have two options – either they put up with the harassment or just leave and go get a different job. And the management is okay with that culture – either you fit in or you go find another job. Sometimes it is not feasible for some employees to find another suitable job, and therefore, they decide to put up with the culture and in the process end up developing mental health issues.

One reason I wanted to write this book “How to stand up to workplace bullying and take on an unjust employer” is to let everyone know that fighting back is an option. There are things an employee can do to fight back against an oppressive company culture. If more employees decide to fight back, these organizations will eventually learn that all employees deserve a non-threatening non-abusive environment for the hard work they put in for the organization.

Schools need to continue to focus on prevention of bullying, rather than just responding to incidents of bullying reported by the students or other bystanders. And to be able to prevent bullying, it is important to understand why bullies do the bullying, and then address those issues. Otherwise bullying will continue ruining lives of victims.

One of the most crucial things I wrote about in my book “A Life Interrupted – The Story of My Battle with Bullying and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder” is what I learned about why bullies mistreat other children. I had a very interesting encounter, in adult years, with the worst bully from my school years. I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to connect with him after so many years. This encounter told me a lot of about what all was going on in his life and I understood why he became a bully.

Basically, he became a bully because of a lot of negative things were going on in his life that he had no control of. That prompted him to bully other kids and made him feel like he had some control. I honestly believe that if he had received appropriate support regarding the other negative things in his life, it is very likely that he would not have turned into a bully. This is why it is critical for school staff to keep a close eye on the bullies and work closely with their parents and provide the support they need so they won’t continue their mistreatment of other children.

Bullying and harassment in the workplace can have a significant impact on the victims in terms of emotional wellbeing. There are people who are having to seek treatment from licensed mental health professionals to be able to deal with their mental health issues cause by workplace bullying and harassment. This is something that needs to stop.

There are employees who are able to put up with the bullying and harassment and are able to not let it bother them significantly. They are able to ignore it and move on. They are able to stick it out during the work hours and then are able to enjoy the non-work hours without any issues. They are the lucky ones.

However, there are many other employees for whom it is not possible to ignore such irresponsible behavior at the workplace. It bothers them significantly and it eventually affects them during their non-work hours as well. When they go home, they are extremely stressed and are not able to enjoy any relaxing hours. They remain anxious for the next workday coming up within a few hours. This eventually can develop into significant mental health issues for them requiring professional help.

All of this can be avoided if the companies make sure that bullying and harassment at the workplace is simply not acceptable.