At many of my presentations based on my book titled “Father Figure – my mission to prevent child sexual abuse”, discussions often come up as to whether or not single mothers with young children should date convicted child molesters. This is of course a personal question that each person will need to decide based on her own situation. However, my opinion is that a single mother with young children must be extremely careful and make sure that the situation does not create any kinds of risks for her children.
If a single mother chooses to date a known child molester, then she must do so without ever involving her children or allowing them to meet her date. This statement may come across as common sense to many people, and many would argue that no one should date a known child molester to begin with!
I felt the need to specifically mention this as I have run into a similar situation with a very close friend of mine. I happened to learn from this single mother friend of mine that she had begun dating a convicted child molester. In the case of this woman, her date had pleaded guilty to groping and kissing a little girl once in a public place. Though this woman insisted that the guy had turned himself in and told her about his criminal record on their first date, I still would not recommend dating someone with any history of mistreating kids in a sexual manner.
Having said that, I would like to point out, given her choice to still date him, this woman dealt with the matter in a way that posed no risks to her children. To begin with, this woman took it upon herself to immediately inform her children’s father about her date’s criminal history. She also resolved from the start that she would never allow her date to meet her two children, until they became adults, no matter how far their relationship may progress.